There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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