Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This house was built for laser tag.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize