BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
