the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
