Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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