school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
