please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
then he tried to convert me to islam
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
