he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
