I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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