i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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