So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
