i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will be naked everywhere
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
