If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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