He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
