today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
