if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How external is "for external use only"?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
