She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize