Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
