Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
