My nipple is on Facebook.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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