my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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