Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
