You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
