i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
