At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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