I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
