Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
