went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
