remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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