oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
