Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
