god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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