Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i out mim tonsoeep
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