I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize