dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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