Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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