I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
