and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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