Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
