Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
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