he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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