i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
