Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
