at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
