i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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