its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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