I puked a lego.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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