May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
