addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
