similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
