You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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