Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Even my vagina gasped.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
