my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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