I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
