Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
