I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
