i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.