it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just high enough for therapy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
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I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?