Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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