Its about making memories worth repressing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
