she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
