Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
